also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
