Dual....:-)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
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OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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