you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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