Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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