you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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