and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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