don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
