Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
