two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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