How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
