Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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