Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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