That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Please don't give away my fajitas
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
