New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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