so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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