Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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