Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My room smells like vodka and shame
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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