Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
whose parrot is this?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
