I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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