I cockslap morals
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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