There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
