the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
