Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
