actually, I'm a sock model
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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