How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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