That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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