I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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