Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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