Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
