Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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