I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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