So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
