If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
