are you still at the devil's house?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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