Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize