I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
