I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize