I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
