He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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