just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
