It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
