I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
