Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
