i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Life is so much better after having sex.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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