Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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