Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
