Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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