Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
