How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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