Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
