i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and she was petting her beer can
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
