I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
