so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
