love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Found your dick twin last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
