Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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