Where are you?
In a non slutty way
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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