I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
