Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think people are normalizing furries
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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